I was the last person on the planet to play Final Fantasy VII.

"The best Final Fantasy in the series!" they claimed. "The greatest game of all time!" they shouted.

"I don't own a PlayStation and am not shelling out $70 for a used copy of the PC version!" I exclaimed.

Fifteen years of that. Fifteen years of every other Final Fantasy—first the original, then Mystic Quest, IV, Adventure, VI, V Advance, VIII, I & II Dawn of Souls, and III. Fifteen years of a gap in my RPG lexicon where "Materia" and "Limit Break" could have been. Fifteen years of avoiding spoilers, in the hopes of someday playing the game for myself without having everything ruined already.

Well, more like fifteen seconds of that last one. I don't think the Internet stopped blurting out FFVII spoilers until Portal came along to fill their mouths with cake and lies instead.

There were certain things I knew. I was supposed to instinctively hate Yuffie and Cait Sith—no one likes you! I knew there were suit-clad Turks, and a motorcycle chase, and some minor thing that happens to Aeris that's probably irrelevant anyhow. A friend of mine got me the soundtrack to Final Fantasy VII within a few years of the game's release, so I knew—at least, according to the track names—all the major locations and events of the game. Surely there was a horse race where they'd steal a tiny bronco.

When Square Enix announced a revamped PC re-release in 2012, eventually putting it on sale for something like a paltry $11, I finally found my chance to download the legend. After sitting on my (digital) shelf for close to half a year, I booted up Final Fantasy VII for the first time at the end of January 2013. Just shy of two months later, I am no longer the last person on the planet who hasn't played Final Fantasy VII.

Turns out my wife hasn't played it, either.

With so much hype surrounding this highly venerated game—and with my track record of rating any Final Fantasy game after the first three I played on a scale of "meh" to "barf"—expectations were high that I'd be tossing this on the pile of overrated games I've suffered through in the name of keeping up with the mainstream.

Every once in a while, I like it when I'm wrong.

Don't let me get all gushy yet. I couldn't stand most of the minigames and quick-time events—I despise losing at things when I've been given vague instructions, five seconds to prepare, and have my controller configured in a way that's totally logical for regular gameplay but awkward as all get-out for special events. Switching around equipment when changing party members is a clunky affair. Half of the best equipment in the game has some awful flaw that counteracts the benefits—we can't just have "improves defense" or "improves defense and reduces elemental damage by 1/2"; we've got to have "improves everything but defense, which plummets so low you'll probably wind up dead if you use it."

Oh, there's more.

Movement is needlessly inconsistent—depending on what screen you're on, holding UP might move you up, right, left, or even down, and there's never any rhyme or reason to it. Cloud saves ("Cloud" saves. Funny, Square Enix.) are incredibly unreliable, taking as long as 10-15 minutes to sync up with the server before I can freaking save my game and go to bed. Quantum physics is easier to grasp than the infuriating task of breeding and racing Chocobos. (My original sentiment was, "Chocobo racing and breeding can go suck a Pepio Nut," but I felt that was too crass.)

What was I saying? Oh, right. How much I loved Final Fantasy VII.

A story centered around the characters. Not a series of random battles with some story shoehorned in around it; not a string of situations that drag the characters along for the ride; but a story where the action is clearly driven by the words, actions, and desires of both the good guys and the bad guys. Best of all, there's legitimate character development for everyone from Cloud and Sephiroth all the way down to the random townspeople whose dialogue changes once the world is clearly in peril. I actually cared about the people in FFVII, and that's rarely happened in a Final Fantasy game since FFI, where I named my white mage after myself.

Random battles that don't waste your time, and scripted fight sequences that don't feel contrived. FFV forces you into a random battle every three or four steps. FFVI foists an out-of-nowhere boss battle on you at any opportunity (Ultros, anyone!?). FFVII never lets the fighting overshadow the story; if you get into a battle, it's because it makes sense within the context of a story for a battle to happen. It's not just because you're in a dungeon, and fighting is what you do in a dungeon.

The Materia system. Magic that you can level up and pass around? Yes, please. Counterattacks, status effects added to your attacks, and an ability to learn all the crazy special powers your enemies use, like Beta and Big Guard and Pandora's Box? Heck, yeah. By the end of the game, I had Cloud decimating the masses with Deathblow on all enemies plus a regular slash as a follow-up, and Yuffie (yes, Yuffie—I enjoyed her backstory and appreciated her quirkiness) alternating between mugging enemies to restore MP and casting Ultima (twice in one turn!) to restore HP.

Limit Breaks. Tifa jacked up on every Strength Source in the game, kicking the ever-living snot out of an oversized dragon, is one of life's little joys.

Actions both great and small that impact some part of the game later on. At first, the completionist and perfectionist in me rankled at the thought of ruining my chances of a perfect game because I did or did not buy flowers from that girl at the beginning. However, after looking up the complexities of how some things affect other things, I got to be pretty intrigued by the replay value potential, not to mention the story value. Why, yes, Barrett. Let's do go on a date tonight.

I could go on. The long and short of it is that I was impressed by Final Fantasy VII—by the gorgeous cutscenes and deliberate breaks from tradition that made it so unique in its day, and by the exemplary pacing and balance that few other games in the Final Fantasy series (that I've played) even come close to. I see plenty of flaws, but I also see where someone who grew up with this game would've been able to overlook them, and even embrace them with repeated playthroughs. On a matter of principle, the original Final Fantasy remains my favorite for the time being—for the simplicity, the challenge, and for not aggravating me with dysfunctional cloud saves and snowboarding in my RPG—but darned if FFVII isn't the better game, once all the pros and cons are weighed. At the very least, FFVII is enough to tip the scales enough to say that, yeah, I really am a Final Fantasy fan—I'm just not wild about some of the games.

My one regret is not getting to play this sooner, and that's entirely because of the spoilers. I played the game differently than I would have if I'd've been able to go in blind. I knew Aeris wasn't going to make it to the end, so I left her out of my party whenever she wasn't mandatory—why waste good XP on somebody who won't be around long enough to enjoy it? From the little bit I'd pieced together over the years, I figured Cait Sith would run away with all my money and Materia at some point and never be seen again, so I left him out of the party, too. (WRONG.) I kept comparing the PC port's instrument set to the one used on the official soundtrack I had, and kept coming up disappointed with most of the music. I even guessed at some of the events in the cutscenes because of the musical cues I recalled from listening to the soundtrack all this time. I've never played a game with so many outside factors influencing my enjoyment of it, and I'm really sorry it had to happen to this one.

Guess I'd better play Mass Effect before I figure out why I should be angry at the end of the series, huh.

One of the perks—and perils—of having one's own blog is the lack of pressure to conform to a particular topic or writing style. I feel like I've been doing a lot of soapboxing recently, so I think it's time to geek out a little more, or at least get more abstractly philosophical.

It's hard to tell sometimes whether silence in the comments section indicates that folks have nothing to say, have nothing kind to say, or that they've stopped reading altogether. While I do thrive on feedback, I'm not begging for comments; even if I had a hundred comments on the last several posts saying, "Yeah! You tell 'em!", I'd probably still be looking for a change of pace. I'm wary sometimes about posting opinions that aren't isolated to the realm of entertainment; posts like yesterday's have a tendency to get people in trouble, no matter how earnest or even-handed they try to be.

As far as political and social issues go, I find I'm not as passionate about the particulars as I am about the way we go about deciding on the particulars. I've said before that I really don't care if you've got a different opinion from me, as long as you clearly understand why you have that opinion. We get into arguments based on gut feelings, or opinions inherited from other people that we haven't formed for ourselves—I live for that Mega Man X4 moment when someone finally examines what they're arguing about, and shouts, "WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOORRRR!?!?!?" Actually, that's an exaggeration; I just wanted to make a Mega Man X4 reference.

All I'm getting at is that I've seen and heard a lot of vicious arguments—and a lot of the same arguments—over the past year or so, and I'm weary of vitriol and deadlock. From my perspective, the issue is more that we're communicating poorly than that we disagree. If even one person takes to heart my obnoxious urgings that we need to step back, think about what we're saying, and remember that we're all human beings here, then maybe we're one step closer to resolving these conflicts and going back to playing Minecraft, or whatever it is the rest of the world does when they're not yelling at each other.

Still, I think it's time for me to step back and start writing different things for a while. Away you go, soapbox. Let's try escapism for a change—write about anything but politics and social issues, and see if that's enough to clear the mind.

Hi. I'm Nathaniel. I'm a Christian. I also play Dungeons & Dragons...Satan's game.

In isolation, either one of these facts might give you an impression of who I am. The first one: maybe I'm a fine, upstanding individual; maybe I'm one of those people who's keeping scientific and social progress locked in the 16th century. The second one: perhaps I'm a just a geek; perhaps I'm anti-Christian, doing exactly what Jack Chick warned about.

I rarely drink, and I've never done drugs. Does that make me a model citizen, or a total bore? I play violent video games, though—how does that affect my identity?

So I'm a sober Christian who plays violent video games and D&D. If you're having trouble reconciling these assertions, you're in good company—I make assumptions about people based on isolated facts all the time. The key is to get to know the people before acting on those assumptions. If I say I'm a Christian, and you say D&D is anti-Christian, then that doesn't automatically make me a liar, or you delusional. We are complex beings, full of secrets and apparent contradictions that make sense upon closer inspection.

We are people, not labels.

Labels are a fine starting point, but a dangerous ending point. When introducing myself to someone new, I'll often profess to be a geek, rattling off a few geeky interests to sow the seeds of conversation. It's not uncommon for those seeds not to sprout, so I've learned to gloss over the "geek" point and talk about my job, my wife, traveling around the world, my eclectic taste in music, etc., and hope that one of the many things I've listed serves as a discussion hook. Even if nothing I say gets a nibble, then I've at least established myself as a person of varied interests and diverse history. "Geek" sums up a lot of my personality, but it's not exclusively who I am, and I would be remiss in letting someone walk away from a conversation without giving them any sense of who I am beyond that.

Sadly, the labels are often all we see. From social and political issues to matters of faith and personal taste, we categorically dismiss or disdain the people who bear labels we don't like. Gays. Muslims. The rich. The poor. The French. The elderly. Politicians. CEOs. Whites. Jocks. Libertarians. Environmentalists. Fundamentalists. Porn stars. Terrorists. Nickelback fans. Anyone who sees the world differently than we do, comes from a different background than we do, is in any way different from us. We as a species reserve the right to stop thinking of you as a person if there's even a single label we can apply to you.

I don't have to agree with you. I don't have to like you. And I don't have to turn a deaf ear to you because of a label.

Interesting.

Jeb Bush, former governor of the state of Florida, calling out his own political party for being an "anti-everything" party.

"All too often we’re associated with being 'anti' everything. Way too many people believe Republicans are anti-immigrant, anti-woman, anti-science, anti-gay, anti-worker, and the list goes on and on and on. Many voters are simply unwilling to choose our candidates even though they share our core beliefs, because those voters feel unloved, unwanted and unwelcome in our party."

Perhaps it's because I don't follow politics, and hear about current events most often from my more liberal friends than my more conservative ones, but what Jeb Bush describes here very closely matches what I've been led to believe over the last year or so. I noted that this last Presidential election seemed to be especially vicious, not just between the candidates but across the entire country, and I wonder whether this "anti-everything" notion—whether it's true, or merely perceived to be true—might be largely to blame. It's easier to argue intelligently over differing opinions than opposite opinions. "I prefer Star Wars" goes a lot farther with me than "You're an idiot and Star Trek is stupid" does. From what I've heard, it sounds like some of these opinions have morphed from personal convictions into political tactics aimed at disrupting the current administration from getting anything done.

Again, I don't follow politics. I'm registered Independent, do my research when the big election rolls around every four years, and vote for the candidate I think will do the best job for the country, not just me personally. The rest of the time, unless somebody else brings it to my attention, I am blissfully unaware of the ways of Washington. But every time I do hear or read about politics, it's the same old song: We're not making any progress. We can't agree on new policies, and we can't agree about the old ones. Politicians keep making offensive, embarrassing statements that show how out-of-touch they are with the other side, if not reality itself. It doesn't sound like we're compromising and working for our nation's future; it sounds like we're relying on sheer numbers of people who inherently agree with us to make anything happen.

"...we need to get re-acquainted with the notion that the relationships that really matter are not made through Twitter and social media. Real relationships take time to grow, and they begin with a genuine interest in the stories, dreams and challenges harbored within each of us."

Jeb, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been reading my blog.

I was listening to the radio while driving my wife to work this morning, and I instinctively changed the station when I heard Taylor Swift singing something I didn't recognize. I like one or two of her songs, but in general, I'm just as happy to keep flipping through stations for something I will listen to instead of settling on something I can listen to.

My wife says to me, "That's the second morning in a row that you've instantly switched away from a female singer."

We've already established that I tend to prefer listening to male singers over female singers, but I had to pause for a moment to consider my gut reaction. Was I being subconsciously misogynistic, changing the station so quickly? No...I'd do the same for Dave Matthews.

Yes. Dave Matthews. Let's not argue about taste; it's just going to get worse.

I sat there at the red light, mulling over the female singers I do like...but, of course, I could only come up with the ones I don't like. Adele? Cheese grater to the ear. Natalie Merchant? A slow, lingering death by boredom. Rihanna? I couldn't name a single song she's done, but every time I feel myself going "ick" to something on the radio, it's usually her. I knew there were female singers I enjoyed listening to, but I couldn't come up with a single one of them.

At least, not on the radio. I come from a musical family, and have sung in a lot of choirs over the years; I've enjoyed listening to (and singing with!) my mother, my sister, my wife, and a host of other altos and sopranos—even my grandmother, whose warbly voice I remember with fondness. The female voice is not inherently abrasive to me, so there must be something else at work here.

Giving it some more thought, I was able to come up with Enya as a female I'd gladly listen to. I might skip a few of her songs that have been overplayed, but that's no different from any other artist, male or female. Once I'd thought of Enya, the rest was easy—Celtic singers, in general, I find appealing. Modern mainstream American singers? Not as much. Sometimes, but not as much. And really, that's what's on the radio nowadays.

Actually, a lot of the female artists I listen to are international ones—Shakira, Client, Little Boots, Ladytron, Aqua, Sade, Within Temptation, Nena, Dido, Charlie Dore, and Alanis Morissette (yes, Canada is international). Then you've got a slew of American artists from all different decades: Pat Benatar, Fleetwood Mac, Blondie, The B-52's, Suzanne Vega, The Mamas & the Papas, Michelle Branch, even Kelly Clarkson among them. I like Cascada, Evanescence, Blackmore's Night, and at least one song by The Weather Girls...not to mention the theme songs to Neon Genesis Evangelion, Azumanga Daioh!, The Vision of Escaflowne, and Revolutionary Girl Utena—all anime series with a chanteuse at the musical helm. Also, the ending theme to Portal? C'mon. So don't tell me I don't like women singers.

Besides, I'm pretty sure it was the same Taylor Swift song both times I changed the station.

Well, it looks like I've got another project to work on. Barely a year after their last overhaul, YouTube has once again decided that progress is only made by throwing out the old to make way for the new, and they've started rolling out a completely different channel design that will soon completely replace what I was just getting used to. I don't even know how to complain about this kind of thing anymore; between Facebook and Netflix, I've started to become numb to forced change. There was a time where I'd be a conscientious objector in my own way, subverting some aspect of the new regime in a fun, harmless way that also passively voiced my disdain; now, I barely have the energy. Facebook, YouTube...these are supposed to be vehicles, mediums through which to express myself; I'm feeling more and more like the whole Internet is dictating how I'm supposed to channel my creativity, rather than offering me the choices I know it's capable of. I make the best of my options more often than my options open up new possibilities.

I would love to be thrilled about change someday.

I like to listen to music while I work—usually Pandora, but occasionally a specific song or video game soundtrack I've pulled up on YouTube—and I'm just coming out of a 10-song set of atmospheric euphoria. Typically when I need to stay focused on what I'm doing, anything instrumental works just fine. The best music, though, is the kind that can just as easily fade into the background as transport me to another world, if I give it half a chance. I've just experienced the dual joy of simultaneously losing myself in my work and my music, and seeing as I've given up Facebook for a while, I'll post about it here instead. Lucky you. Enjoy a glimpse of my eclectic taste in music:

"Finding Grace" by Joseph Atkins on Masterpeace
"The Memory of Trees" by Taliesin Orchestra on Orinoco Flow: The Music of Enya
"Soul Catcher" by Ronda on To Another Place
"Defender Red" by PFIFFIN on Morning Star
"Velvet Cage" by Steve Stevens on Flamenco.A.Go.Go
"Non-Stop Flight" by Tony Pastor on Mr. Pastor Goes to Town
"The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly film score" [which is totally not the real title of this piece] by Ennio Morricone on The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
"M08 Floating Museum" by Kenji Kawai on Ghost In The Shell
"Home" by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis on The Road
"Good Bye Forever" by Arovane on Lilies

At the time of this post, these are all available on Pandora, and come highly recommended. Tune in next time, when my playlist turns to techno and bluegrass.

One of my favorite things to do as a blogger every month is to recap my various creative endeavors, both for the sake of folks who haven't been following along and want to make sure they haven't missed anything, and because it's a free pass to post a couple of links and pretend it's a real post. Wait, no. I mean...okay, that's exactly what I mean. Nevertheless! It's often a surprise to see how much I've done (or a kick in the pants to start working on something, if not), and it's interesting to track my creative development from month to month. Think of this as a sort of time capsule for February 2013, a month I'm particularly glad to preserve:


This Blog:

- Retrospective: January 2013
- I Used to Be Single, Too
- Tinker, Tailor, Thinker, Gamer
- A Comment on Comments
- Antisocial Media
- Series Opinions
- Series Opinions: Mega Man series


GameCola:

Reviews:
- The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind - Game of the Year Edition (PC)

Columns:
- Impaired Closed Captioning: Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles: Echoes of Time
- [NSFW] Q&AmeCola: Favorites of 2012

Podcasts:
- [NSFW] Crystalis D&Dcast - Part 5: Don't Entrust Your Corpse to These Heroes
- [NSFW] Crystalis D&Dcast - Part 6: Killer Queen
- [NSFW] Crystalis D&Dcast - Part 7: Burning Down the House...Every House

Videos:
- Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective Playthrough
- Space Quest 0: Replicated


YouTube:

- Megathon 2012: Rockman 3 (Famicom) / Mega Man 3 (NES)
- Megathon 2012: Rockman 4 (Famicom) / Mega Man 4 (NES)


The Backloggery:

Now, before you pass out when you see the updates to my video game backlog, allow me to say that I've been meaning to add my wife's King's Quest Collection and Dungeons & Dragons Anthology compilation discs to my list for some time, and that I've really gotta stop letting Good Old Games e-mail me about their crazy 50% off sales. The new WiiWare and Virtual Console games are just me being proactive—with the release of the Wii U, who knows what'll happen to the last generation of downloadable games? Better pick them up now, just to be safe.

(I'm such a hopeless collector.)

To compensate for this massive hit to my progress, I went back to a few games I could easily mark as Completed, or at least Beaten, in a single sitting. Can you believe I had left some of those games hanging? Maybe that's a project for this month—put the finishing touches on some games I abandoned just a little too soon.

New:
- Baldur's Gate  (PC)
- Baldur's Gate: Tales of the Sword Coast  (PC)
- Baldur's Gate II  (PC)
- Baldur's Gate II: Throne of Bhaal  (PC)
- Castlevania: The Adventure ReBirth  (WW)
- Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition  (PC)
- Icewind Dale  (PC)
- Icewind Dale II  (PC)
- King's Quest I: Quest for the Crown  (PC)
- King's Quest II: Romancing the Throne  (PC)
- King's Quest III: To Heir Is Human  (PC)
- King's Quest IV: The Perils of Rosella  (PC)
- King's Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder!  (PC)
- King's Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow  (PC)
- King's Quest VII: The Princeless Bride  (PC)
- Phantasy Star  (VC)
- Planescape: Torment  (PC)
- Super Star Wars  (VC)
- The Temple of Elemental Evil  (PC)
- Thief Gold  (PC)
- Tomb Raider  (PC)
- Tomb Raider 2  (PC)
- Tomb Raider 3  (PC)

Started:
- Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque  (Brwsr)
- Super Star Wars  (VC)

Completed:
- Kirby's Dream Land 2  (GBC)
- Megaman vs Metroid  (Brwsr)
- Prince of Persia  (PC)
- Prince of Persia 2: The Shadow and the Flame  (PC)
- StrongBad Zone  (Brwsr)

Mastered:
- Dangeresque Roomisode 1: Behind the Dangerdesque  (Brwsr)


Phew! That's a lot of bullet points. Aside from the embarrassing number of new games (I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM I CAN STOP ANYTIME), February turned out pretty well, I'd say.