I notice I haven't written anything here for over two weeks. I've barely done anything for GameCola in the last month. My attention's been elsewhere: after more than a year of unexpected delays and technical headaches, I've finally had the time, ability, and motivation to work on my Mega Man 7 playthrough videos for YouTube. I've been recording every few nights for the last few months, and the first proper installment in the series went live last week. It's been a joy to read the comments on the new video. Even with a scant bit of criticism, the overwhelming consensus is that this video was worth the wait. It has met, if not exceeded, everyone's expectations. At the time I'm writing this, the video has 3,322 views, 247 Likes, and 0 Dislikes.
That is very, very cool.
Now the pressure is on to make the next video just as good, if not better. Normally this is not a concern—as long as I'm having fun making a video, that's all that matters. Whether it's recording or writing, I try to generate the kind of content I'd want to see, and it's usually the case that other people like to see the same things I do. That's why I ultimately scrapped my Otakon post—it was necessary to write it, but I didn't want to read it.
As I'm recording the next video, I need to remind myself that this isn't a competition. I don't need to outdo myself. And I don't need to "give the fans what they want," as though I can read minds or trust my more vocal viewers to always speak for everyone. What matters is a finished product I'm happy with. Something I'd be excited to show others if it weren't my own. After all, that's what got me into blogging and recording in the first place—the desire to share the things I'm excited about with others. I think I might've misplaced my enthusiasm in the last few days—I've been more interested in the act of sharing than the thing I'm sharing.
Did I enjoy Otakon? Yeah, parts of it. It ended on a high note, for sure. Maybe I'll tell you about the good stuff someday. Maybe I've learned some lessons about conventioning that'll help me from ever reaching the same low points again. Maybe this is all you'll get out of me about Otakon unless you ask me in person. It's hard to say for sure. For now, I'm content to be writing again—writing what I feel like writing, instead of what I feel I should be writing. It makes a world of difference.